Christmas Wishes
by suzie05
Summary: Remus Lupin; Sirius Black, in what seems like an eternity of frustration and hope.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

_Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,_

_Ring the Hogwarts bell,_

_Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,_

_Cast a Hogwarts spell._

_Have a wondrous wizard Christmas,_

_Have a Merry Christmas day,_

_Hover 'round the sparkling fire,_

_Have a Merry Christmas day._

_Find a broomstick in your stocking,_

_See the magic on display,_

_Join the owls joyous flocking on this merry Christmas day._

_Ding dong,_

_Ding dong,_

_Ring the Hogwarts bell._

_Ding dong,_

_Ding dong,_

_Cast a Christmas spell._

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Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was ablaze with Christmas spirit. With exams aside and a good week away from school lightening everyone's mood, everything was in perfect harmony. The Great Hall was decorated beyond belief with humungous fir trees glittering with fairy lights and faux snow crystals. The high ceiling portrayed the sky outside perfectly, a pearly white sky lit with pink, the sun setting, graced with the occasional snowflake, each to its own unique. The babble from the four house tables, from one table to the next, drowned out the ferocious winds outside. Soon after the Headmaster's routine Christmas departure speech, the babble was teamed with the chinking of silverware. The talking was louder than before; each house was acting on its own accord. Ravenclaw were quietly conversing, Hufflepuff farewelling each other cheerfully, Slytherin talking among themselves, subdued towards the other houses, and Gryffindor, loudest in comparison had a party in the works, and of course like every other party thrown, the Marauders were planning it.

"This is our Sixth Year send off, boys! Evans aside, I'm going to have a wild one tonight. Are you up for it, Paddy?" Of course, James would need his best friend's affirmation before he went and got trashed; he'd need someone to share the burden of a terrible hangover with the next day, and with Peter likely heading to bed earlier than himself and predicting Remus's absolute refusal, Sirius was James's only hope. "Well, Paddy, how about it?"

Sirius lifted his head off his arms to look at James from under his messy hair that was always in his eyes. "What?" he asked.

"Are those ears glued on? I said, do you plan on having a few tonight? Thing is, I don't want to have to entertain alone and since you've been a bit quiet today, I thought I'd ask before I got too far done. Are you up for it, or are you feeling a bit peaky?" He threw Sirius a challenging look, attempting to shake him from his distraction.

"Of course, mate. I'm usually up for it, aren't I?"

"Yeah course," James said, smiling gratefully. He launched into the details for an avid looking Peter and a quieter Remus, who was picking at his dinner and casting glances every now and then at Sirius who, as earlier, was pretending to listen with a withdrawn, somehow miserable, expression.

"You've got enough drinks for Gryffindor, haven't you? Peter asked, as James informed him about the night.

"Of course I did, you prat, who else would have bought any? It's all in my trunk. Come on everyone, everyone's clearing out. Let's go." The four rose with many other and led the excited throng back to the Common Room where the party was to take place.

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"Mate, James is off the hook! Bloody hell, he's making an absolute git of himself!" Remus looked up from his book and over the armchair's back to where James was dancing like an idiot with a school skirt on. Remus laughed aloud, though stifling when his gaze fell on Sirius who was out of the scene, staring off with a remote expression on his face.

"Get up Moony," Peter said, tapping his shoulder and pulling him out of the armchair. "Have a drink, let your hair down for once. "Peter yanked the book Remus had been earlier immersed in out of his hands and pushed him into the dancing crowd, where he fell at James's feet. He felt himself being pulled up by the shirt and a bellowing in his ear. "Moony, you're dancing! Here, I have you a dance partner," James yelled over the music, pulling him towards a girl whose name escaped Remus. He looked down at her with a small smile, her head just brushing his shoulder. He looked over her head to the place where Sirius had stood to find him gone.

He danced for a few minutes half-heartedly, scoping the room for Sirius; he was, of course, nowhere to be seen. He suffered a few minutes more of dancing before he excused himself, pushing through the dancers. He picked his discarded book up off the floor and headed for the boys' dormitory, a thought striking him that Sirius just might be upstairs.

And there was Sirius, in all his beauty, sprawled on the window seat, his drink in his hand, the moonlight casting shadows across his vacant face.

Remus entered the room without turning any lights on, closing the door behind with the softest of clicks.

He lingered by his bed, packing away his book, fidgeting with his suitcase that was already packed for the trip home on the Hogwarts Express. Giving up on this, he inclined his head towards Sirius.

"Padfoot," he tried to sound surprised. "Why aren't you downstairs with Prongs? You aren't in much of a celebrating mood, are you?" He sounded concerned to his own ears.

Sirius looked at Remus then, pausing to drink deeply before replying. "James and I aren't joined at the hip, Remmy. We can do things separately," he said soberly, just the bit tipsy, with a weak smile that disappeared almost as soon as it had appeared.

Remus cringed when he called him Remmy; the boys had stopped calling him that in Third Year, all except for Sirius who called him it when they were alone. Lucius Malfoy had said it sounded 'gay'.

"Yeah, I know that," Remus said, getting up and walking to the middle of the room. He stood awkward, looking for something to say. "So, what do you want for Christmas? I haven't got it yet." He knotted his fingers, unsure of what else to say other than that. Anything else that crossed his mind, like, "are you okay" might earn him a smack in the mouth.

"Don't worry about getting me anything," he said dully, averting his gaze from Remus. "My mum won't let me have it anyway."

Remus needn't ask questions; it was quite clear that the Blacks kept Sirius looking nice so as to grace the family name, but he was unfairly mistreated in all other aspects.

"What is your family up to this Christmas?" he asked.

"T_hey _will be at family's house." Remus didn't like how Sirius singled himself out of family occasions. "I will most probably be locked in the basement. Or if I'm lucky, I'll have to slave after Bellatrix and Narcissa."

Remus swallowed, his eyes wide with horror. "Oh, Sirius, I'm sorry -," he began before he was interrupted.

"Please don't tell me you're sorry. You don't need to pretend. I know nobody loves me."

Remus advanced on Sirius, making the walk in three sides, and sat on the window seat next to him. "Sirius, look at me," he said, taking Sirius's shoulders and shaking them.

Sirius, who had been looking at his hands, shook his hair out of his eyes and looked at Remus, his expression hard. "What?"

"Don't ever say that again, Sirius, ever. Don't you think we love you? We love you. I – I love you. You're my best friend."

Sirius's face softened. "You really mean it?" he doubted, his eyes swimming with tears.

"Yes, how many times do I have to tell you? I love you," Remus said. "I love you," he repeated, stronger.

"I love you too," Sirius said weakly, his voice breaking.

"I'd hope so, git. Now, come here," Remus said, putting an arm around his friend. Sirius threw both his arms around Remus, burying his head in his shoulder, sniffing.

Sirius smelt divine; strongly like leather, cologne, mint and a hint of liquor. His breath was coming fast on Remus's shoulder, hot and damp. Remus cupped Sirius's chin, bringing his face up to his level. "I'll stay at Hogwarts this Christmas," he promised, looking into Sirius's glazed eyes. Sirius began to object, but Remus stopped him short. "My parents won't mind. I'll send them an owl, we don't really celebrate Christmas.

"You'd do that? For me?"

"How many times are you going to make me say it? You are one of my best friends - my best friend, even. Don't make me say I love you again."

"You just did," Sirius said, regaining his cheek, laughing. Remus laughed with him.

"Come on," he said, letting Sirius go. They made their way to the door and down the staircase where Sirius stopped Remus. "You know, you aren't James, but you really are one of the best friends anyone could ask for." He smiled at Remus and lifting his hand, brushed his cheek. "Tell me when you want me to make it up to you." He dropped his fingers and joined the party, Remus rooted to the spot.

He touched the tops of his fingertips to his own cheek where Sirius had brushed.

"You just did," he whispered, repeating Sirius's words.


	2. Chapter 2

Prologue

_Get not your friends by bare compliments, but by giving them tokens of love._

-Socrates

--

"Have a good Christmas, guys. Pity we couldn't stay with you, but that's parents for you, hey?"

"Don't worry, Prongs, I'll look after Sirius," Remus yelled over the noise on the Platform, the train letting out earsplitting sqeauls. Remus slapped James's outstretched hand through the train window.

"Yeah, and be sure to write!" shrieked Peter over the bellowing of the train's whistle.

Sirius laughed. "You're only going to be gone for a week! When you come back, we'll throw a big New Years Eve party."

"But I'm staying at my Aunt's house, and I will be bored shitless," Peter groaned.

The doors of the train were shut, and the wheels began to move slowly, at a deadened pace after not moving for so many months. Remus and Sirius backed away from the train, waving, as the train began to move faster. "Merry Christmas!" James yelled, hanging his head out of the window and looking back, the train picking up speed. Sirius began to keep the pace with the train, grabbing Remus's shoulder as he did so, pulling him along too. They broke into a run, waving at their friends through the train compartment's window, the compartment that the four would usually share on the way to and from Hogwarts. They slowed to a walk as they reached the end of the platform, content on watching the scarlet steam engine race into the hills, smoke unfurling out of the stack, distantly choo-chooing and finally disappearing out of sight.

--

The two boys didn't return to the dormitory. Instead, they took to the grounds in their haste of enjoying them uncrowded, regardless of the unpleasant weather.

"Moony, you look like you have a pole up your arse. Why don't you lie back?" Sirius asked, tugging on the back of Remus's jumper with his free hand, his other hand preoccupied with the cigarette he so casually smoked, looking the part with his three day stubble and creased robes.

Remus relaxed his stiff posture and obeyed his friend, lying back on the bank of the Great Lake just as his friend did. "It's cold," he shivered, folding his arms across his chest.

Sirius turned his head to look at Remus, a few strands of his hair falling across his forehead. "It's cold," he mocked. "Loosen up, Remmy," he laughed, smirking. Again with the nickname, Remus thought. "It's not that cold." He brought the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag, throwing his head back to blow out the smoke, his mouth forming a little 'o'.

He noticed Remus looking at him and offered him the cigarette, which he politely refused.

"No thanks, I don't smoke. And since when do you?" he asked, his breath came out in a fog, his teeth chattering.

Sirius threw the butt into the Great Lake and inched closer to Remus, brushing shoulders with him. "Since now," he muttered, closing his eyes. "Since it was cool. Is this position better?"

Remus sat in silence, enjoying the heat of the body next to him, appreciating the silence.

Suddenly, Sirius propped himself up on his elbow, his eyes dancing. "I was just thinking. I'd be a cute girl, wouldn't I?"

"Are you insane?"

"No," Sirius laughed along with Remus, his trademark bark. "What I mean to say is, I could cope with being a girl. I'm pretty vain, you know. Feminine. Not to mention very, very good looking."

Remus propped himself up on his elbow too, looking out at the Great Lake, the still water, the visible icy mist floating above the water. "You would be," he agreed, just for Sirius's sake. "You'd be a gorgeous girl. But I like you just how you are." He turned his gaze to Sirius, smiling.

Sirius fell back off his shoulder, his eyes still on Remus. Another silence, a comfortable one, took its place.

A shiver broke through the quiet. "I'm cold," Sirius sighed, inching closer to Remus. He rested a hand on Remus's chest.

"Why don't we go inside, then?" Remus suggested, sitting up a little.

"No! I'm happy here," Sirius grumbled, pushing him down with a firm hand. "Just a bit more, and then we will go inside. Please?"

"I'm happy if you are, Padfoot." Remus crossed his arms behind his neck, leaning back on them, content. He closed his eyes against the harsh glare of the white sky.

"Me too," Sirius breathed, incoherently, listening to Remus's heartbeat under his hand.

--

Remus woke up with his clothes soaked through, the sky pitch black. He groaned, pulling himself up to where Sirius sat.

"What time is it?" He asked, lethargically. "We've missed dinner."

"Definitely. It's about ten, I'd say. I didn't wake you up because I didn't want to." Sirius put his smoke between his lips and got to his feet, offering Remus both his hands. Remus accepted graciously, letting the other boy pull him to his feet. "It's s-so cold," Remus murmured, shivering worse than ever. It had begun to snow heavily.

Sirius rubbed Remus's upper arms with his palms in a heating motion. "It is," he agreed. "Come on, let's go,"

They trudged up to the castle in a foot of snow, drained of energy, their breath a fog in front of them.

--

Sirius took James's bed so he could talk to Remus across the space in between their beds rather than across the room. The two got ready to go to bed slowly, talking about the next day.

"I've never stayed at Hogwarts on a Christmas Day. What's it like?"

"It's alright," Remus replied. "The year me and Peter stayed was fun, the Great Lake completely froze and there was heaps of students ice skating."

"Do you think they would do that again?" Sirius asked, excited.

"It will freeze but I don't think many students are here this year. We can go down, but I'm not skating – I fell down a lot last time."

Remus pulled back the covers on his bed and pulled the curtains around his bed closed, leaving a gap to talk to Sirius through. He pulled the sheets up around his ears. The warm comforted him, and helped him drift off.

Through his sleepy haze, Remus heard Sirius whispering out to him.

"Remmy?"

"Yeah, Paddy?" he asked quietly, his voice slurred.

"My watch reads 12.00AM," he said quietly.

"Merry Christmas, Sirius," Remus answered, yawning.

"Merry Christmas, Remmy."


	3. Chapter 3

Prologue

_A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart,_

_And can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words._

_-_Martin Jay M. Torres

--

Remus awoke to the glare of the sun filling in through the bed curtains, though dimmed by a knelt figure. Groaning, he brought his fists to his eyes and rubbed them, muttering profanities in a tired, incoherent voice. He turned on his side and opened his eyes, taking in a startled breath when he saw Sirius's face, inches from his, surprisingly close. Remus groaned again and sat up, his blankets dishevelled and half on the floor.

Sirius crawled up onto the bed and sat cross-legged, a smile briefly touching his face as he took in Remus's sleepy stance.

Remus's eyes widened when he heard a quiet snicker. He yawned hugely and looked at Sirius, stopping short on the unbuttoned shirt, displaying his chest. His eyes slowly trailed up to his face to meet his dancing eyes.

"Merry Christmas," Sirius said, outstretching his hand, palm turned up. In his palm was a box of Berty Botts Every Flavour Beans. "It's not much, but since I didn't go home this Christmas, I had to raid my stock of lollies I got from the last Hogsmeade visit and send them out as presents." Sirius placed the lollies on Remus's lap and stood from the bed, bounding over to where their Christmas presents were; both boys piles always smaller than James and Peters.

Remus kicked off his blankets and followed Sirius to where he stood, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Thankyou, Sirius. but I didn't get you anything. Are you sure you don't want to have these?" Remus asked, a light concern touching his warm eyes.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm sure there is another box in here," Sirius said, picking up a badly wrapped package. He shook it before opening it, and when he did the contents of the parcel falling to the floor. Sirius reached down to pick it up, a slab of Honeydukes chocolate and, as foreseen, a box of Berty Botts Every Flavour Beans. "See, what did I say? Looks like you got the same parcel."

Remus reached down and picked up a rectangular parcel with a note attached to the front. He read it aloud, Sirius peering over his shoulder, biting off a mouthful of chocolate and wearing his new scarf and hat.

"Merry Christmas, Remus. Missing you, wishing you were here, but understanding that Sirius needs you; we know how much you care for him. Say hello for us."

Inside was a hard covered book with no title on the front. Remus placed it down on the bed that Sirius was sitting on and grabbed another present, absentmindedly picking at the paper. Was it really that obvious that he cared dearly for Sirius? He thought. Could his parents know? Remus turned to watch Sirius open the book.

"Ha!" he gurgled through a mouthful of Honeydukes chocolate before swallowing it. "This book is called 'The Book of Spells for Tricksters!' I don't know whether this will apply to you Moony, but I'm sure James and I will have some fun with this." He turned the page, running a finger down the contents page. "Ooh, how to make your enemy agree to everything you say…reckon that could work on Snivellus?"

Remus snatched the book back out of an objecting Sirius's lap and put in his trunk with his other gifts. "Don't get any ideas, Padfoot. Save your pranks for when James gets back." He pulled Sirius up from the bed and steered him towards the Common Room door.

"Come on, Moony," Sirius whined, dragging his feet and pouting at Remus. "Just one little prank, please?"

"Maybe," Remus said, looking at Sirius with resentment. He knew all too well that noone, including Remus, was unable to resist Sirius's pout. "Stop pouting at me, you know what it does to me."

Sirius laughed, obeying Remus's nudges, stepping through the portrait of the Fat Lady. "It makes you want to kiss me and make it all better," he teased.

Remus laughed, biting his lip and smiling at the overjoyous Sirius. He didn't know how true that was.

--

The Great Hall was much less occupied than both Sirius and Remus had ever seen it, but all the same the tables were laden with Christmas dinner, the aroma of the different meats and soups sweeping around the room, filling the nostrils of the ravenous Professors and students. The food ranged from everything from strips of turkey, steak, baby potatoes and vegetables to pecan pie, cheesecake, mint humbugs and wizard treats in quantities enough to feed the whole school.

The few Gryffindors that had stayed behind bunched together on their table and chattered amongst themselves, the occasional Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw coming to pull a Christmas cracker with one of them. Remus, who hadn't celebrated Christmas in such high spirits ever, was quietly watching the other students, mainly Sirius, from a distance, pulling the occasional end of a cracker whenever one was offered to him. By the end of the dinner, Sirius had a Hufflepuff eating out of his hand that only left when he, who was trying to explain the rules of Quidditch with avid hand movements, had upturned a bottle of Butterbeer all over her skirt.

When the crowd of Gryffindors stood to leave, Remus followed their lead, Sirius in his wake. He wasn't expecting anymore celebrations, already feeling well fed and ready to rest up. Sirius extended a hand on Remus's shoulder, turning him around to look at him in the face, Sirius expression displaying mock outrage. "What?" Remus asked, dubiously.

"You aren't going to bed with these pansies, are you?" he asked, poiting at the younger Gryffindor students, raising one eyebrow.

"What do you have planned?" Remus didn't know what Sirius was getting at; from what he knew, he was sure there weren't anymore celebrations taking place and he put little stock into whatever Sirius had up his sleeve being festival.

"We," he said, pointing to himself and Remus, "are going to the Lake."

"And what might we do there? It's too cold."

"We are going ice-skating." Sirius caught the disapproving look on Remus's face and caught his elbow just as he had turned to run. "Me and James would sneak if he was here. _He _wouldn't make me suffer because he was tired. I won't forgive you if you don't come, Remmy. Please?" he begged, pouting again.

"Sirius."

It was too late; Sirius was pulling him out into the biting cold, the icy breeze catching in Remus's chest. He didn't have enough willpower, or strength, to refuse Sirius. Sirius wrapped his hand around a deterred Remus's wrist firmly and pulled him downhill towards the great lake hurriedly through the foot of snow.

--

"Remus, come on, it will be okay," Sirius encouraged.

"You go first, then!"

"Fine."

Sirius stepped away from the ice and took a few steps back for a run up. He pushed through the snow at a faster pace than Remus thought possible, reaching the icy lakeside. He took a huge leap, tripping up a bit but keeping his balance. He did a fast lap of the outside, loping, legs bent like he had done this so many times before.

Remus took a seat on an icy boulder and watched, mesmerised; he was sure he wouldn't look like that if he was out there. He rubbed his cold hands together, bringing them up to his face, cupping them around his hot breath.

Sirius fell back a bit, slowing and outstretching his arms and running circles in the middle of the Lake. "This is fun, Moons," he yelled, closing the distance between them. He stepped off the ice and pulled Remus to his feet.

"Honestly, Sirius, I'm a gimp," he whined.

"I don't care! Take it slowly, you'll be fine. You're not getting any warmer just sitting there." Sirius stepped back onto the ice and outstretched his hand to Remus. Remus, as reluctant as he was, took it.

He inched closer to the edge and stepped with one foot onto the frozen water. Sirius nodded, and Remus stepped on with the other foot, wobbling the slightest. Sirius steadied him with one arm on his shoulder. "Don't let me go," Remus warned. Sirius just smiled.

The two slid and tripped out into the middle of the lake slowly, Remus grabbing at Sirius wherever he could.

When they reached the middle, Sirius let Remus go and skidded a metre or two away, his hands on his knees, smiling. "Okay, if you can skate to me, I won't call you gimpy for the next month.

"Sirius…," Remus began, smiling besides his objections.

"You can do it," he said encouragingly, outstretching his arms.

Remus sighed; he felt as though he was a toddler taking his first steps towards his father – except Sirius wasn't his father, but instead much more handsome. Remus looked at Sirius's character, his dark hair plastered to his face, his cheeks tinged with pink, grinning widely in anticipation. "Why not?" he said under her breath helplessly, kicking off from where he stood.

At once, his body began to wobble and he put his hands out to steady himself, a lost hope. He felt his legs flail beneath him and he began to fall, Sirius's outstretched arms just catching him. Remus felt himself being pulled up and he scrambled to his feet, hugging himself to Sirius's frame like he was a safety harness.

"Are you okay, Moony?" he asked humorously, patting Remus on the back.

"Yeah," was all Remus could squeak, breathless.

Remus laughed, his dog like laugh, and patted him on the back again. "Do you need help getting back?" he asked, the words forming around Remus's cheek, his breath hot on the skin.

Remus laughed and then nodded, happy at the closeness, besides the embarrassing situation he was in.


	4. Chapter 4

Ooc:

What do you know? I'm back. This isn't a very good chapter, but hey, there's better to come. It's just a bit slow, and I need to write another 6 chapters including this one. Maybe I will skip a few chapters and finish it with the next. This story isn't really working for me.

Advertisement: Expect a Sirius/Lily oneshot from me in the coming days!

Prologue:

_"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."_

-Stone Temple Pilots

--

Christmas, like all festive occasion with parties and gift giving, had its downfalls. Remus woke, bright and early, to find absolute havoc reeked through the Common Room and worse, the boys' dormitory. "Lazy fucking first years," he muttered, magicking away countless amounts of Christmas wrapping and sweet boxes. Some things, like cleaning habits, could not be changed or turned by the Marauders. Remus leant down and picked up what looked like an upturned piece of burnt toast, but threw it over his shoulder with a high-pitched squeal after seeing two blinking, blood-red eyes looking up at him. The toast-like creature let a an angry noise and Remus turned to look at it; Sirius was holding it in one hand, bent over in laughter. Remus crossed his hands across his chest.

"If this place wasn't such a pigsty, I could maybe get some breakfast." He looked at his watch which read 10 o'clock, and then at Sirius, who was still clothed in his pyjamas. "Why aren't you dressed yet? It's 10 o'clock in the morning!"

"Not all of us are early risers," Sirius said, raising a hand to tousle his messy hair. Remus shook his head, turning his back on Sirius. "And anyway, it's the holidays. There's nowhere to go." Sirius flopped down on the couch behind him, ignorantly pushing other's presents to the floor.

"You know, you definitely have a Black streak in you," Remus said disapprovingly, pointing at the present rubble on the floor. Sirius looked down and laughed, picking up a chocolate frog and unwrapping it. "You gotta live a little," he said through a mouthful of chocolate, offering Remus some.

"If that is what you call living, you obviously haven't seen much of the world. And that isn't a proper breakfast. I'm going downstairs to get a good feed." Remus turned and left the Common Room, much to Sirius's anger. "And I'm not waiting for you!"

--

But Remus did wait, and Sirius and he made their way down to the Great Hall, stopping ever so often to admire the decorations of the castle. Great, crystallized mountains of ice decorated the staircase rails, much to the delight of Sirius's who found great happiness in running his hand along them roughly. The windows were magicked to look stain glassed in colours of red, green and gold, and the walls of the castle resembled ginger bread. Remus and Sirius soon found that, after attempting to bite off a hunk, that it wasn't authentic ginger bread.

The food today was just as impressive as the Christmas Day feast was. The mood and spirits of both the students and teachers wasn't dampened with Christmas Day being been and gone; they celebrated Boxing Day spiritedly and went all out with many different dishes of food.

"I can't wait until this party," Sirius mentioned through a mouthful of treacle tart. "James thinks that it's going to make this year what it was."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Oh really now? And what does James have planned?"

"I don't know, really. All I'm concerned about is how much Firewhisky he'll have, and whether or not I am going to have bust in any. The punce had better be getting some, or I don't think I'll turn up. Can you pass me that cake?"

Remus passed him the cake. "But you surely know something, right? Does he have anything up his sleeve? Strippers? Love potions?"

"I don't know. Like I said, it will be what made this year. I think he will go out in fashion. His parents have money to splurge. Hell, so do mine, but I can't access any of it. If I did, I would definitely get some of those strippers. That doll, Rosmerta, from the Three Broomsticks, perhaps. No, I think he will have something up his sleeve. Just gotta wait until he come back to be in on the plans." He paused as he took a bite of the cake. "That cake's good. Anyway, why do you need to know so much? Are your Prefect duties starting to turn you against your best mates?"

"No!" Remus frowned. "I guess I will have to patrol the party, or I could lose my badge. The professors already know that I overlook everything you boys do. Maybe I could get out of the trouble and patrol the corridors instead. At least then I won't get in trouble for letting you do a pass on school rules."

"You wouldn't dob your own friends in, would you, Remus?"

"Sirius, honestly. When have I ever done anything of the sort? You've been like a lifeline to me. I wouldn't pass off our friendship like that. You can have your party, but don't get me involved."

"Like you'd ever," Sirius scoffed, smirking at Remus. "You wouldn't ever want to disobey school rules, anyway. You're Perfect Remus with his perfect grades and his perfect attitude and outlook on life. I guess not everyone knows your secret, hey? Don't know about the skeletons in your closet?" He winked at Remus.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Remus said, rolling his eyes. He felt a little uncomfortable, talking in this notion. "Be quiet Sirius, or I might just have to hex you."

"I suppose he thinks Evans will want to kiss him at twelve," Sirius said casually, picking up his spoon and pushing his spoon around his plate. "I guess he thinks that if he can get Evans drunk enough, she'll float into his arms and they can kiss. And fuck, in rhythm and motion." He looked up at Remus from underneath his brow, smiling slightly as he knew how much Remus detested James's stalkerish ways.

Remus expressed his distaste. "If James thinks that Lily is going to kiss him, then I'm sure that he believes that pigs will fly too. She won't come within a foot of him. He should just move on now and so he doesn't suffer heartbreak later on in life. He'll be single forever at this rate."

"Shut the hell up, Remus."

"What? It's the truth. I'm merely stating the facts, Paddy. James keeps bugging Lils like a fly, and she doesn't like it."

"You shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business if you don't agree with the circumstances." Sirius looked up, angrily.

"And what are circumstances, Sirius?" Remus looked affronted at the look on Sirius's face. He would never have dubbed him as caring much for anyone's relationships but his own.

"That Evans has a pole up her arse."

"Don't talk about her like that Sirius. We don't know her well enough to make judgements like that."

"Well, we don't talk about other friends like that. You were slagging him off, and I will tell him so when he comes back if you don't watch your step."

"I'm scared!"

"James is a far sight better wizard than you'll ever be, Remus. Fuck off." Sirius got up from his seat and turned, heading out of the Great Hall at a fast pace.

"Sirius," Remus called, hurt but wanting to apologise.


	5. Chapter 5

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."  
_- Ralph Waldo Emerson _

Peter and James returned to Hogwarts later, abliss to the fact that Sirius and Remus had fought during their absence, though they'd kept their distance, stony faced, as the four boys embraced one by one.

James launched into a tale by tale account of his holiday at Godric's Hollow, and how he'd convinced his parents to let him go on a drunken rampage, performing magic in the streets before falling asleep in a derelict pub on the dirty hearth rug in front of an ashen fire. The four scoffed as they ascended to the confines of the Gryffindor Common Room, lugging their trunks behind them. It was only until Remus sighed and, begrudgingly, performed the levitating charm that took the trunks up the rest of the stairs that James and Peter looked on appreciatively, while Sirius seemed distracted.

"So, how were the lonesome days without us two here?" Peter said, interrupting Sirius in his thoughts. "Did you two share a bed and reminisce about the old days?" James snorted, Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius, who had slowed behind the other three, said nothing, his head in the clouds.

"I mean it though," Peter continued, as they entered the Common Room via the Fat Lady and casually made their way up the staircase. "What did you two get up to?"

They each sat down on their beds, James propping up on his elbows, Remus laying back on his pillow, his hands behind his head and Peter lounging comfortably on the top of his sheets. Sirius, however had moved to the window seat, leaning against the wall, his face directed towards the vast grounds of Hogwarts. He didn't flinch at the question, but continued staring out the window with a gloomy look on his face.

Remus, feeling uncomfortable, chose to break the silence. "Well, er, there were a few incidents while you were gone. There was, well Christmas," the other two laughed, "and gift giving and a feast fit for a king. Sirius got me a gift, and I so very, very wrongly forgot to get him one. And, well, there was the fact that the lake froze over. Sirius and I went ice skating. Ice and I don't really … mesh."

Peter looked mildly interested, his eyes alight with a mingle of interest and curiosity. But James had danced over to his trunk, flipped it open and strewn it across his bed before retrieving a bottle of Firewhisky.

"How was the ice?" Peter interrupted Remus's thoughts. Sirius shifted in his seat, a snide look on his face. He seemed as conscious as ever, Remus thought feebly.

"It was good, good. I owe Sirius a life time of servitude. He really does look like a figure skater out there. It was very, erm, convenient that he was on the ice with me. He kept catching me, didn't you, Sirius? Sirius?"

Sirius was scornful. Completely oblivious, or so it seemed, to what Remus had said, with reserved eyes he muttered to James, "Pass me the bottle, prat."

Remus looked on with hurt written across his face as the night unfolded.

James lay on the floor in a heap, belting out his favorite Beatles song. The song reverberated around the room because he was bellowing so loud. Peter was gliding around the room in a grand, sombre manner, and Remus sat on his bed watching Sirius, drunk by far the most, which was hovering by the window, the bottle of Firewhisky in his hand.

"Oh Jamesy-poo," Peter crooned, doubling over with laughter, singing along. Remus, laughing, quietly went over to Sirius, who was, quite blatantly, sulking.

"Padfoot," he sang, jesting. His arms weaved themselves around his neck. They swayed dangerously in their drunken stupor, smoke billowing from the cigarette between Sirius's fingers, the ash from the cigarette floating to the floor. "Sirius," he said seriously, all humour stripped from his tone. "Sirius, I know you want me to leave you alone. Never talk to ever again. But no matter what you say, I'm not going anywhere, alright? You said yourself that we were best friends. Why is it so hard to forgive me of my wrong doings?

Sirius didn't let up. He continued to stare out the window as the heckling behind them continued. Remus decided to take another approach.

"I know you're mad at me and I know I can't do anything about it. I'll just have to live with that. So we're not best friends after all. If this were James, he'd be forgiven in an instant. Well fine, then. So because it's me you're going to act like a child. So just keep acting like a …,"

A deafening smash sent Firewhisky splashing up the walls and the other two into silence. Sirius, breathing heavily, whipped around to look at Remus.

"Don't you dare," he said, "don't you dare speak to me like that, you fucking freak." He shook with anger. "Here you are, apologizing to me like all we had was a tiny squabble, when you've been talking about James behind his back." He looked at James, who had come to stand by his side.

"Yeah, that's right, James. _'Lily will never look twice at James, she's too good for him. She'd never be stupid enough to fall for someone so, so stupid. He's not good enough for her.'_" Sirius mimicked him perfectly.

"I never said … -," Remus began, before James interrupted.

"You said that, Moony?" Disbelief coloured his tone as he looked between the two. Sirius was now flanked by Peter too, his trusty sidekick.

"Well, not in so many words," he began. Seeing the outrage in James's eyes, he hurried on. "I mean, Sirius is over reacting, like usual… -,"

"SHUTUP," Sirius roared. "You're a traitor, an absolute traitor. No one talks behind _my _best friend's back and gets away with it, especially not some bloody goody two shoes prat who calls himself a Marauder. Get the _fuck _out of _our _dormitory."

"You can't kick me out of my own dormitory. I'll tell McGonagall, I'll …,"

"'_I'll, I'll,'_" Sirius mimicked. "I'll shove my foot up your arse if you don't get the fuck out of our dormitory. Now _fuck off_." He ripped the sheets off of Remus's bed and threw them at him callously. Remus caught them, toppling backwards in his haste.

"I honestly don't think this is fair. James, what do you think? James?" he repeated weakly.

"I think it's best that you go," James said, his eyes averted from Remus's face. "If I'm no good for Lily, you're no good for me. For us." It seemed hurt him to say that, like he didn't truly believe it.

"Just go Remus," Sirius murmured. "Just go."

Remus nodded bluntly and turned to leave, a defeated look in his eyes.


End file.
